Balloons

For some reason tonight as I sit here waiting for the RA to finish room check I am struck by a memory that I have from when I was a little girl. I'm standing in my front yard at Shafter with Cinderella planted in the yard.(Cinderella was a tree that was planted in front of our house for my brother.) I remember the feel of the sharp blades of grass poking my bare feet. The red Cadillac convertible sits in the driveway with the top down, which means that it had to be a Sabbath cause that's when Dad would take us out. There are several grease stains on the driveway. I think the balloon that I was holding in my hand came from the birthday party from Jessy's house. They always had parties on the weekends with loud mariachi music. I remember looking up at the sky and wondering if I let my balloon go, how far will it go? Could it reach the clouds? then the stars? what about if it got to Heaven? If I tied a letter to the string would God read it if it made it to him? Now granted my child mind was probably only the age of 6 or 7. And why I was wanting to send God a letter by Balloon Mail I can't recall. But I remember how beautiful the sky was, it was filled with fluffy clouds that looked like cotton candy, just ready to eat. There was no question as to if God would answer my letter, or if He would even get it. You know how little kids are, they may have a profound thought on moment and be off playing in the mud the next.
I think about this tonight because I wonder how long will it take for me to get it. How long will it take me to let that balloon go and for me to actually figure out that God will receive it. How long will it take for me to let go of things and people of this world and just watch them float towards the clouds?
In some ways I have always thought of myself as a runner. I've ran to school to solve my problems at home in high school. I ran to Southern to make a new start. I ran to Andrews to escape from a pain and try to discover something new about me. And in a way I have run to Africa as well...for some reasons that I'm not totally sure of. Is running bad? Is trying to move on by escaping to new places wrong?
As I end this entry I think about that balloon...did it make to Heaven? Did He get my letter. I guess now all there is to do it wait. To let go and wait. Who knows, maybe I'll get a letter back some day.