Is it Already April?

I remember two months into being here at Maxwell. My birthday was coming up, and I was starting to feel restless. I wondered how life was going back home. Why my friends hadn't kept in touch, and what I was missing out on. I felt like no one was there. Now two months away from going home...I don't think I'm ready. I don't want to leave Kenya. There is so much left for me to do and see. There are so many places that I haven't gone too yet. I was told last weekend that once Africa gets under your skin there's no way of getting away from her. And it's true! I'm not even gone and I'm already thinking about how and when I can come back. As of today there are 63 days till graduation, 63 days! Yes, I will be here for about 3 more weeks after that, but most of the students will be gone and I'm hoping that I will have more free time to spend with my family here before I leave. I really feel like I have a family here. There are ones who I love to death, others; who at times make me want to pull my hear out. There are times when I've laughed my head off and others when I've cried my eyes out. But these people have been my love and support since I have been here. And honestly, they've been here more for me than other people have.

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely." ~ Karen Kaiser Clark

This is one of my favorite quotes. I think I stumbled across it my the beginning of my sophomore year at Southern. Honestly, when you take a step back and really look at it, it's really not an easy thing. For the most part we all welcome change. Sometimes it comes unexpectedly, other times gradually. Other times we choose to have change and make a direct way to see it. On the other hand most of us like growth, we like to see that we are growing up, that we can handle these different stages in our lives. But then why is it so hard! I recently got an e-mail which contained some comments on me preparing myself for when I return. I was told that I shouldn't expect things to be the same, that I have changed and grown a lot, and most likely when I come back I will feel like nothing has changed. An yet I wonder if I really will feel that way. What I mean is, have I really changed? Have I really grown? 

Yes, I can say that I see a change in me. I feel like I'm getting back to myself. Myself as in that crazy girl who didn't care what people thought about her. That girl who wasn't afraid to help someone else even if it meant getting hurt. I feel like I can laugh and skip for no reason. My heart isn't broken like it was before. And ya know what...it feels good. I'm happy. Yes I said it.  I. Am. Happy.

So until the time comes for me to face those new changes, I have 63+ days to wallow in Kenya. And I plan on enjoying every minute of it. High school drama and all :)