Match of the Season

The gloves have finally come off, the lights are low and the arena awaits. Today Mapenzi and I will face off in Ad Com.
I really don't want to do this. I wont lie I am scared spit less. Why? Because this girl is tougher than me, because she is quicker than me, because she's the smoothest talker I have ever met. Maybe I don't have enough faith in the staff, but I am so worried that just like any other time we have sit down to talk the discussion goes from her to me. To how I am the one messing up and doing wrong, to how I am the liar, the disrespectful and rude one. How the girls in the dorm don't feel comfortable with me because of what I do. I'm scared that I am going to get tongue tied in there in front of the comity, and Mapenzi, and there for "prove" that I am a liar.
I don't want her to go home. I want her to be here and to graduate in 55 days. I wont her and I to respect each other. Even though she had told me that she doesn't and that she doesn't like me. I don't care if she does or doesn't! I just...ug...I wish this "Golaith" would go away.
I'm tired of being the adult, I'm tired of dealing with childish things. And if I could I wish I could be in high school again, if only for a minute, because then I would deal with it my way. As in we would just let things be. I wouldn't talk to her unless she needed it and same for her. But I can't do that! I have to be the one to sit down and say lets work it out, even if I don't really care if it does.
I knew this day was coming...I just had no idea that I would feel this way. I sure hope God is gonna teach me something good out of this, cause this is the toughest yet.