Well this week started off with a kicker, one that really shook me up. Lusungu is a very sweet girl. She came at the start of this sem and at first had a very hard time being here. well truthfully she didn't want to be here and refused to leave her bed for several days. But things have gotten a lot better for in. She's made good friends, things are working out for her and her roommate. She seemed like she was enjoying in for the most part. Come to find out her sister and I actually know each other from Andrews (she is so sweet too). On Monday(?) Lusungu come to my office and in her quiet voice tells me that she feels like cutting herself. I promise, I think my heart broke. She told me she just wants to go home, that she is so depressed and that she just wants to die. It really shook me up cause when I was a freshman in high school I was right in her shoes. Not for the same reason, but none the less I was there. A friend in my class was known for cutting herself when things got rough, and even though I thought about it I new I could NEVER go through with it. I don't like pain. Period. But cutting isn't the only way...
I was telling my RA Bliss last night how I so wish that I could shake some of these girls. That I could tell them that they don't know it all, and that in just a few years they'll look back on this time of there lives and think to them selves, "What was I thinking?!" I've always said I never want to go back to high school, and yet here I am in the middle of it. Using what I went through to try and reach these girls. Please pray for her.
Then today I find out that one of my Juniors from Norway (the BLONDEST girl ever!) that she has thyroid cancer.
....Um excuse me, could you repeat that?...
There's been other incidents too where I just wish that these girls could see that now doesn't last for ever. That they will grow up and change SO much in the next couple of years. And that even beyond that we have so much more waiting for us from out Dad.
I'm glad that I am leaving tomorrow for long weekend. I have things I need to think through. Things here with the girls, facing home, and trying to hear what God wants for me and well yea...other things.
I've been thinking about my future a lot this week, and I dont know why. I mean I am thinking about things that I haven't really thought of. I mean I did once, but that was different. That was because someone was asking it of me. Now I'm thinking about it for myself, and I'm not sure what to think of it.
Plain and simple: just too many thoughts.
No comments:
Post a Comment