Divorce. Who thought that one word could mean so much and hurt so bad. Since starting this new sem I've felt like the girls and I get a long better. Maybe it's because we know where each other stands. Maybe it's because we are just use to each other after five months of "living" together. Or maybe, it's because they see that I'm not here to ruin their lives, and I know that they aren't here to make me pull my hair out (most of the time).
Last night I was blown away to have one of my girls come in and actually tell me what was going on with her. It's not that she and I don't talk, we actually get along really well. She makes me laugh so much :) But she's never opened up to me like this before. Sad to say it wasn't a fun topic to talk about. She kept telling me how she was just done, how she couldn't take it anymore, and how she wish she knew what to do. When she would say the last she would just look at me as if begging me to give her the answers to make it all ok. But I couldn't. How do I help someone when I'm still stuck in the middle of it? How do I help them not hurt, even though whenever I talk with my either one of my parents I still feel hollow?
It's amazing to me how our parents, the ones who are suppose to be so strong, have all the answers, and love us unconditionally, are the ones that can hurt us so much. I know if either one of my parents were to see this it would bring tears to their eyes, but actions have consequences. I feel that we kids who have been apart of a divorce can relate to each other better than those who haven't. And yet when this girl was talking with me, there were no answers to be give. It's as if there's this quiet understanding of no words need to be said; someone just needs to be there. Even though my Dad and brother left my freshman year, it was really hard my senior year. There was still so much going on. I'm grateful that I had Jake at that time, cause even though he didn't understand he was there to help me get through it.
And now here I am four more years down the road and it's still hard. To have a dad who has moved on, and a mother who wont let go. Divorce never gets easy to deal with no matter how old we are. It still hurts. There are no answers, or if there are; sometimes they're just to hard to handle.
I'm glad that she was able to come and talk with me. I'm glad that I'm one of the few staff members she feels like she can talk too. Please pray for this beautiful young lady. She has so much to offer and God has truly blessed her life. Just like he's blessed mine. The sun always shines after it rains.
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