Thursday, December 16, 2010

It's Almost Finished

I am sitting in the office with only four girls left in the dorm. The last few days have been quiet an more peaceful than usual. I can't believe that the sem in over with. Four months of my time in Africa are over with, and only roughly four more to go. Even though I'm being asked about when I am coming back home part of me can't really imagine me being at home. I can see school, but other than that I can't see what's up ahead. I can't see what the next chapter will be like. And I think I'm ok with that. Not only do I feel that I can take a step back and breathe from school, but that I can also take a step back and just breathe from everything. I feel re-leaved, and just happy. It's what what happened after I posted my last post. I got an e-mail from someone who I am truly blessed to have in my life. And yes, even though some people who we were once very close with walk out of our lives, there are those that were given to us as well; sometimes we just don't see it. 
In all honesty I think I'm finally letting go. I'm letting myself be happy with who I am and what I have. I am having the time of my life here in Kenya. I have people who love me at home and realize that it's time for me to grow up. And I have amazing friends who never fail to put smiles on my faces. Example: the other day I had a skype date with Ashley, Trevor, and Darren. Oh man, I miss hanging out with all of them so much. The jokes and random comments are just haha undesirable. Yesterday I got a random phone call from Cowboy (Andrew Marsh) and it just made my day to know that someone who I don't talk to very often took the time for a 5 minute phone call. And today was spent playing Gim Rummy, Risk, and Pit with Jess, Tyson, Rachel, and Caleb. (note to everyone, don't play games with me. I'm competitive and am not always the nicest loser, just ask Tyson grrr) But yea, I can tell this is gonna be a fun break. And I can't wait for Egypt! 
I'm realizing I can be happy on my own. That even though letting go is hard, sometimes it's the best thing to do. I'm happy with myself, and I'm happy with other people. I remember having this high, happy feeling when I went off to college and was able to leave my family issues behind. There was nothing I could do about anymore (not that there ever was) but I was able to say I don't want this to affect my life and I'm going to say how my life turns out. It's up too me. Another time was on a Sunday morning when I went walking on the Green Way at Southern. I felt like I was given answers and that I had direction as to where I was suppose to go. Ha, funny how that is quite opposite now, but hey God works in funny ways. That does terrify me cause He has such a crazy sense of humor that who knows what He'll bring my way next. I mean I'm in Africa for crying out loud haha. But yea...in a few more hours this dorm will be empty and there will be no students for almost seven weeks :) *sigh*

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