Thursday, April 14, 2011

Rebound

It has been a week ago today since everything that happened. I can say that this week I've been laying lowing, not wanting to be out there. And well not putting myself out there. After something like this it seems to take me awhile to pull my self back together. My big thing is that I'm always wondering what the other girls think of me. Do they think I did a stupid thing?  Are they glad that it happened? I don't know...I've noticed, at least last sem that it seemed when ever one of these matches went down that they would check in on me. "How ya doin Miss Cassie? Are you ok Miss Cassie? *click* Don't worry Miss Cassie, it's no big deal." They seem so random at times that I can't even tell what they are relating too. Since I am on this weekend I am praying that things go well. M and I have basically said nothing to each other, even though at Ad Com it was mentioned about talking and saying sorry, but oh well. It doesn't surprise me, it's high school.
I've kinda been wondering if I'm starting to get depressed because I've been sleeping a lot, and I mean A LOT. I wake up at 6:30 to work out at 7. When I come back at 8 I relax, take a shower and get ready for the day. By 9 I'm back in bed sleeping till 10 when I have to be at work. In the after noons I can usually catch 45 minutes to an hour. Then again I'm going to say that this is because of the work outs I've been doing with Yani. They are tough!...I like it :) I'm also going to say that it is because even though I am drop dead tired when I craw into bed I usually don't actually fall asleep till an hour to two hours later. Sometimes the mind just wont shut off.
I think I'm doing ok. I hope I'm doing ok. 52 days till graduation. Today was nice, I had a lot of talks with some of the girls. I told Inah she's my chill girl. I don't feel like I have to make a conversation with her, we can just sit and it's ok. Joy told me that my toes are obese...haha you have to know Joy. Cynthia and Winta always make me laugh, they were telling me how my shirt matched my eyes. Granted my shirt is a deep royal blue today, but hey I'll take it :) Navo came in too and sat down an talked, just talking about the most randomest things. But once again that's Navo, fun, loud, and random. I think that's why I feel like in a way they are checking up on me, because for the most part they don't always come in and just chill. They do, but not all the time. And for this to happen several times throughout the week...? I'm probably over thinking things.
Oh man, ASB banquet is coming up this Sunday. Study hall become a time for auditioning to sing, filling out orders for roses, and fake champagne. Basically shot haha. I hope it's just because of banquet, but I feel like things are getting roudy. Or maybe I feel like I'm getting antsy.
I take that back, I am antsy.

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