Today is the last full day of school. There will never be another Thursday of regular classes again. Well at least for me. I'm sitting in the office with Switchfoot playing in the background, a long with Kesly singing in the hallway and Karen talking about what she wants to do during summer. We got our year books today. I think this is the most excited I've been over a year book since I graduated high school. From what I've seen they're pretty nice (props to Miss Jess :))
I'm so glad that I came to Kenya. I'm so glad I let God lead me here. When I look back over the year I can see how I have changed so much. The two biggest lessons that I have learned are 1. to let go and 2. to be patient. Now granted, patience doesn't exactly run in the family but I think I'm getting a better handle on it. Haha at least I hope so. I love the relationships that I have built here. I love the students. I've seen a love between some of them and I especially this week with things coming to a close. Part of me wishes that they would come to Andrews so we could just chill and hang out, talk about nothing. Haha but then again I don't think I would have enough chocolate to hold Winta over for more than 2 years.
Letting go is one of hardest things that I think someone can face. It's scary and lonely. But I'm glad that I've made it through that stage. I'm glad that I've let go so that I can now see what's in front of me. Which I think could be a good thing. Granted just because we let go, doesn't mean there wont be anymore problems. There has been a lot of things that have come up for me within the last year too. Decisions and choices that will forever affect my future. Some things I don't want to deal with, but I know I have too.
It's good to feel this way. It's good to feel happy again. I haven't felt just silly happy for a long time. I love life, and I love the one that God has given me. I love that the warm sunshine makes me happy. That I can be singing in the copy room and people know that it's me. I love hearing Zivah scream that shrill baby yell in the office. I love how Sabrina comes in my office and just chills on the couch and talks about the most random-est things.
Before I came here I was so scared that life would move on without me. That I would be left behind. And for awhile I felt like that. But the thing is, the people that really are my friends and that really care aren't going anywhere. They aren't leaving me behind. And for that, I'm going to be a bridesmaid :)
The thing about letting go, is that we have the chance to start over. If we didn't like how things were before we can change it. If there was something about ourselves that was negative we can work on it to make it better. And if there once was someone who broke your heart, there's someone who can help put it back together. And FYI He's pretty cool.
This is my last Thursday on. But with all these lasts...I'm looking forward to all the firsts :)
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